Why doesn’t everyone see it too?

Someone you know just got you started in what you see as a huge business opportunity. You are so excited that the first thing you do is tell your immediate friends and family. The excitement is so strong that you can barely get out the words and then you ask them to get involved too because after all why not help them become rich like you will be.

Then you find out that the first 4 or 5 people you talk to not only will not join you in the business but they do not even want your products. You instantly begin to ask yourself if you made the right decision. You wonder if they know something you do not. Then your excitement of starting something new turns into the fear of making a bad choice.

At this point many people just stop the business convinced they made a bad decision and they cut their losses. After all, who wants to be ridiculed by their friends and family? Would it be better to just to make it go away quickly?

Before you throw in your cards and just quit you should understand why they turned you down in the first place. Your close friends and family would like to see you succeed personally and financially but their first instinct is to protect you from yourself and the strangers that clearly talked you into doing something different. Subconsciously they are ensuring that you do not quit your job and throw away your life because you had a temporary lapse of sanity. The bottom line they truly believe they are protecting you and themselves from financial disaster.

But think about the process. Were they at the business meeting you attended? Did they see what you saw, hear about the market potential, and experience the products? No, they heard part of the story from you and then decided it would not work. They are making a decision on less than half the information you received. The second part of this is the fear of change. Everyone fears change, but when you experience something so compelling the risk of failure out weighs the fear of change and you take a chance. Remember they did not get the compelling story, just your excitement. Your excitement may be enough for a stranger, but it won’t be for your friends because they know you and where are both personally and financially. They can’t envision you being hugely successful at anything simply because you never were and what changed besides the fact that you started something new.

Let us imagine all of the people you spoke to about the business were in a fishing boat with you on the ocean. You can’t see land in any direction, it is a very hot day and you are looking for a way to cool off so you announce to everyone that you are going to jump into the water without a life vest for a cool swim. You are confident in your ability to stay a float, but people around you immediately start to speak out. One suggests that you put on a vest, another comments about what hungry predators may be swimming below you. Others are shaking their head agreeing with them. So do you jump in or stay in the boat? Let us say you jump in because it is just so hot that you have to cool off even though you know there are risks. Again you get a comment or two about the safety of your decision, but you stick it out and after a little while you are enjoying the cool water and nothing bad happens. Then someone else announces that they are going to join you. Then a third but this person wears their life vest. Why did they change their mind, after all they were agreeing that this was just too dangerous? The answer is simple, you took the risk and survived. Really the risk was all in perception.


When you think about it how much of a risk was there? Out of the millions of people that boat and swim in unprotected waters only a very few get killed each year by shark attacks. You had a 1000 times greater chance of getting killed during the car ride to the boat. Even if you were unable to stay a float there were several other people that could have at least tossed in a life vest or pulled you out of the water so there was very little risk of your drowning. So really these people were just protecting you from what might happen, if by chance something went wrong. You can’t fault your friends for being concerned and at the same time you can’t let them keep you from obtaining your dreams.

Now let us look at what happened at the end of the story. When you proved that the water was safe and it truly provided a welcomed relief from the hot sun a few joined you. Do you think the same would happen with your business?

Back to the beginning of our story, you started something new and different that was outside what the people in your social circle were use to. You saw it as a welcome relief from what you were currently doing to earn an income and took the risks associated with making the changes. You then shared it with your closest friends and family and they immediately turned you down to protect you from making a bad choice and throwing away your career and losing what you had built. Now let us say you listened to their advice and stuck with the business and in time built an income large enough that you could leave your job. Then your income increased to the point that you could buy a nicer home and a better car. At this point do you think you would get the same reaction from your friends and family? Probably not, at this point a few of the people that thought you were crazy for taking the risk will decide to join you, because you showed that the risk was worth the results. If you quit the business without giving it a try then you would have robbed them and yourself from the opportunity to make a change that benefited you both.

When someone tells me no I ask why not? The question why is very powerful and the answer tells me volumes. If it is for personal reasons like they do not have the time, money, or they are not interested in the product then I understand it has nothing to do with my decision. If they say these things don’t work or something ridiculous like it is a pyramid scam then I know they are just trying to protect me or themselves. If they say they took a good hard look at it and then come up with valid reasons why the marketing plan, the company, or the product will fail then I would take them seriously and at that point I would question my decision.

The true answer here is to set the pace and take the leadership position you planned to when you started the new business. Your friends will have a higher opinion of you if you stand behind your decision and make it work. At the same time you will be doing yourself and them a favor by making the opportunity work for you both. In reality you are only risking a few dollars and a few hours each week for relief. Do not let their perceptions of failure detour you from your goals of becoming successful.